I have come back. I went for fishing with my friends.
It was so good to be with "normal" people who were not quoting anything from any book in order to verify particular deeds and were not giving anything because that was the order from Allah (SWT). Nobody tried to convince others about the only true way while all the rest of the ways goes to hell. It was so nice that everybody was free to do anything.
I was thinking deeply about the future of posting articles. Certainly, I can’t change the world with my publications. Maybe I can only reassure myself by writing out my thoughts. I see from the comments that there is someone who likes them, some who argues, some who disagrees. This is normal and we should get used to it this way. No matter how much I try and how much knowledge I have, I should make anyone sure that anything I write is a private opinion, even though I quote from the Quran. We can’t hide ourselves behind the Islam quoting this or that! Islam, like anything else, works through human brain what always adds subjective elements, depending on the content of the mind and the environment in which we live. This leads to completely normal conversations in a non-Muslim "angler" environment however in a Muslim "abnormal" environment hostility can come up in the deck sometimes. But it works like this when the brain is firmly filled with indestructible walls built by the knowledge of ignorance.
When I get up in the morning, I settle my things and talk to God about my day. Doesn't interrupt me woman shouting: turn off the lamp, let her sleep, make coffee, etc. Then I go out to run for an hour and my thoughts are with God. I have lots of new ideas coming up during running and last but not least, running becomes much easier. When I finish, I sit in front of my laptop in a little corner where nothing distracts my attention. Literatures, thoughts and loneliness. It's wonderful like that. For many years now there has been no scratching, skinning, no reckoning. It's just me and the inspiration. In the evening, when I go to bed, I begin a dialogue with God about my day: what did I fail to do, how I can make amends and what have I to do tomorrow? There is no hysteria, no flood of questions and there is no need to explain out of Him to anybody anything! I live and work in this environment and share the products of it.
I'm getting old. I notice that I talk less and listen more and more. A young man is overheated by his wish in order to dominate over others concerning opinion and exposition. I no longer have wish to dominate over anybody. I listen to the speeches and see how alien becomes the spoken subjects to me. It is no longer worth running after this world. So, I’d rather left behind with anglers and open my mouth when I am asked.